Big Couple Mike and Sarah & Little Brother Tanner

Meet Big Couple Mike and Sarah & Little Brother Tanner who have been matched for over 5 years now!
This trio first met through the Community-Based mentoring program and have been trying new things, visiting museums, and going to car shows ever since.

Big Beginnings

As Mike and Sarah’s four kids grew up and moved out, the couple soon found themselves with plenty of time and opportunity to focus on other kids in the community who might need them. During this time, Sarah attended a Lunch & Learn with her coworkers, a presentation about BBBS with a meal, where she first learned about BBBS.

Meanwhile, Tanner’s mom heard about BBBS from her son’s school. She knew having someone to guide and influence her son’s life would greatly help him during his parents’ divorce. So she signed him up with the goal for her son to form a bond with someone, which isn’t always easy for him.

“Going into it, I really hoped he would get a couple that was patient and would stick by while he slowly warmed up to them,” Tanner’s mom said.

When Tanner first met his Big Couple, it did take some time to grow closer. His Bigs noticed that, early in their match, Tanner seemed nervous about pauses in their conversations, causing him to talk through any lulls. 5 years later, although the three still have lots to say when together, they can also have silence in their conversations, showing how much more comfortable they have grown with each other.

“They’ve helped me get out of my shell with them more. Cause I’m just very nervous around new people, and I’ve got them to know them a lot better,” said Tanner. “And they’ve got to know me a lot better too.”

A Few of their Favorite Things

Soon the trio were adventuring outdoors on hikes and dog walks, building models, woodworking, and relishing the delightful music of the Fort Wayne Philharmonic and the Sweetwater lunchtime concerts. Mike and Tanner discovered a common love of car shows, which soon became another favorite pastime.

Tanner’s “friendly and accommodating” Big Couple have also introduced him to volunteer work like walking dogs for the shelter, Kate’s Kart, and Project 216.

After 5 years, Mike, Sarah, and Tanner get along swimmingly. According to Tanner, this is especially due to their “similar personalities and senses of humor.” Mike and Sarah agree, saying that Tanner’s “dad jokes” and sarcastic quips never fail to get a laugh out of them.

“We love spending time with Tanner. He’s so smart and says some really insightful stuff,” they said. “As he gets older, it’s wonderful to hear his perspective on people and the world around us.”

Venturing Out

Tanner is on the spectrum and tends to gravitate toward a few foods. After being matched, he formed a new goal: trying new things! He is happy to report that Mike and Sarah have greatly supported his venture into checking out new foods and activities. For example, one of their go-to activities recently has been tasting a new flavor of ice cream every time they can.

“They’re very encouraging,” said Tanner. “They’re always able to give me good advice, like to try new things and stuff like that.”

“He only orders pizza or grilled cheese when we are out, but over the years we have gotten him to try some new foods, which I find thrilling,” said Sarah.

They’ve visited just about every museum you could think of: the ACD Museum, the Firefighter’s Museum, the Art Museum. Next up, they are thinking about a Military Museum. One of Tanner’s favorites of their outings was when they took a trip on a train in Angola.

“It’s mostly just to try new things,” said Tanner. “They almost always come up with something cool I’ve never done before.”

“Tanner started out with a lot of anxiety, but he is brave and willing to try new things,” Mike and Sarah said. “As the years go on, and he has more positive experiences, he is more open to new endeavors.”

Learning from Each Other

Being in a mentorship can offer new perspectives and experiences, helping everyone involved become the best versions of themselves. Tanner’s mom sees a difference in her son’s self-confidence.

“I think he’s a lot more willing to express his own opinion it’s… He’ll kind of speak up and say ‘Wait, I don’t want to do that, or I do want to do that,’” said Tanner’s mom.

As for what they have learned, this Big Couple takes joy in the many fun facts Tanner has to share with them and his vast vocabulary. According to Sarah, there hasn’t been a single outing where they haven’t come back with a few things they’ve learned! They have also loved the opportunity to hear a different point of view, and in turn, to offer a new outlook to Tanner.

“The best thing about spending time with Tanner is his different perspective on things, and I think that is one of the best things we offer him, as well,” said Sarah. “Being from different families, we can offer each other new thoughts and ideas. I think everyone can benefit from an opportunity like that!”

Tanner’s mom believes her son’s match has not only helped him but has also given her someone to seek advice about her son from as well, especially any medical advice.

“I’ve kind of reached out to Sarah. She’s an RN, and she is really mindful of what’s best for him,” said Tanner’s mom. “So, that’s been really nice for me to have another person to kind of bounce [ideas] off of.”

“I’m very happy I met them,” shared Tanner.

Get Involved!

“For anyone looking into becoming a Big…go for it! You won’t regret it! There are commitments that can match any schedule and kids that need you. It’s a great way to build community and hope,” said Sarah.

BBBS offers several programs for you to get involved with here. Or consider inviting us to host a presentation at your workplace, faith group, or professional organization!

“I do think it would benefit a lot of people to have a good role model,” said Tanner. “It’s a cool experience, and you can make friends in it.”

“By getting involved, you could have an influence on a kid that is so much deeper than you might even imagine. It’s really helped mold him into an adult, into the person he is,” shared Tanner’s mom.

Learn more about volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters here. Wanting to take the next step? Start the application process here.